Some Thoughts That Are Rolling Around in My Head.

Last night Paul and I went to the Gateway to spend an evening together. I had a gift card to California Pizza Kitchen that I have been wanting to spend since I got it...last March. :-) We love going down to the Gateway and it was seriously perfect. After we chowed down at CPK, we strolled around outside and the weather wasn't too cold, there was hardly anyone around, it had just rained but it hadn't poured, it was after dark, and it was just plain old pretty and I dare say romantic. Well I was carrying out my take-out box with half my pizza left inside (it was their Pear and Gorgonzola pizza - holy amazing!!) when Paul and I passed a homeless guy. I wasn't really paying attention until after he had passed us. Paul and I just kinda shared a look - we both feel bad seeing people in that situation - and we kept walking, knowing we didnt have any cash on us. But then it hit me that I was carrying around half a pizza that, even though I was looking forward to enjoying the rest of it later, I really didn't need and he could have used it a whole lot more than me. So I told Paul I wanted to give it to him and we turned around and I caught up with the guy at the park bench he had just set his stuff down on. I only talked to him for less than a minute but the humility and appreciation in that guy as he accepted my leftover pizza almost made me cry right in front of him. I didn't, however, because I am sure that while he was glad for the charity, he wasn't the kind of guy who needed pity. I wished him a good night and walked back to Paul where he just smiled and winked at me, and we walked on together in silence. I was thinking of all the ways I am blessed and I know Paul was doing the same thing.

I usually would keep something like that to myself, but at the same time I like hearing stories like that because it reminds me of how short life is and brings you back down to earth for a moment and reminds you of the more important things in life. It's so easy for me to get caught up in my lifestyle and my routine and at times my biggest concern can be something as small as finding the time to get a movie watched so it can be returned (hard life, huh?). Even though I have had my fair share of trials and hardships and even though I express gratitude for my life and the things that matter the most to me on a daily basis, and even though I try my best not to take even the smalled things for granted, it's still super easy to do exactly that and forget how easy I have it right now. Like the fact that I can go out to eat with my husband and spend $30 on food, have a nice evening and enjoy some laughs and a few trips down memory lane. That to me is a blessing because a lot of people don't get to do that and the funny thing is, I was thinking exactly that in the restaurant. A lot of people have to worry about how they can get any food at all, and where they are going to sleep that night, and how to stay warm at night. Even though I was happy to help someone out and happy to have shared what I had, it still made me feel small because all I did was give a guy my leftovers in a box after I had already eaten what I could. I didn't know the guy or what he's been through or how he came to be walking the streets at night with his belongings in a bag. I was glad to help but sorry I didn't have more pizza to give and sorry that all I had on me was plastic and no cash. My small act of kindness made me feel really happy, but really sad at the same time. Life is strange, isn't?

I'm Not a Mushy Person But....

One of my oldest friends, Rachelle Kingsford, lost her brother last week to an unknown cause. I feel so bad for her and her family. She was so close to this brother, even though the age difference is 15 years. She's so heartbroken about it and last night at the viewing I couldn't help but cry. It gets me super sad when people lose loved ones. Death gets me all sorts of weirded out and I can't help but think how strange life really is. I confess I think about death a lot. My biggest fear is to lose someone I love so I can only imagine how the Kingsfords are feeling right now. Sigh.